no one mourns the wicked

[thanksoptimus]

Who: Optimus Prime and AUTOBOTS
Where: The Autobot campground.
When: The evening/night after the dance off.
What: Orion Pax has been restored to his past and future self. Optimus Prime is NOT HAPPY. Also, very very tired.
Warnings: Injuries, intense robot ass devastation. Angry dad. Angry mom.

Optimus Prime, unlike Orion Pax, leaves no time for argument or complaint. After he's finished dealing with Megatron, he orders the Autobots to roll out, provided assistance to injured comrades where necessary. He takes no assistance for himself.

Which is stupid, because after days of starvation and torture and minus the burst of power from the Matrix he was utilizing just before, he is extremely fucked up. It's less obvious that he's on his last legs than it might be with some bots, but he is very injured and trying hard to pretend that he isn't. He drives back to base by his own means, and doesn't speak but to give the occasional order until they are there.

He wants everyone safe and tended to and organized, and he needs to have a talk with just about everyone on the team, and besides that he needs to catch up with everything he hadn't been paying attention to as Orion Pax...he doesn't see how he could possibly take a rest quite yet, there is too much stuff to do, and if he made it this far he can make it a little bit father.

More than tired, though, he is angry. He's angry at Megatron, angry at some of his team, and angry at himself. He doesn't pause to talk to anyone once they get back to camp, and immediately starts to ineffectually try to organize things with as few words as possible.

[Feel free to tag in as someone at any point in this, including later in the night or the next day. He will probably pass out in the medibay within the hour, though. Either that or Ratchet will get him.]

Comments

[starscheme]

"Ah. No. No he was not... he was certainly very guarded about the matter, I can tell you that much." Once again, he's not technically lying; Megatron was definitely not forthcoming about his reasons in that conversation. Even still, Starscream avoids eye contact and fidgets at his cuffs nervously.

[thanksoptimus]

The worst fucking liar in the universe, some days. Optimus raises his eyebrow.

"Is there something that I do not know, Starscream?" he asks.

[starscheme]

"Well... Now that is an odd question, I mean I imagine that there are many things in this world that you do not know, but then again who does, know everything that there is to know, I mean. I certainly do not. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself about it though, it's a shortcoming that we all share."

Okay maybe humor isn't the best tactic to take with Optimus Prime, but it's at least fairly obvious that he's not lying out of ill intent for once in his life. He just wants to spare his own chassis.

[thanksoptimus]

Which means that Optimus has to know even more than he did before. So he just glares at Starscream with a look of sharp impatience.

"Commander Starscream..."

Don't waste his time please.

[starscheme]

"Yes?" He says brightly, tapping his fingers together and smiling. Perfectly sweet, perfectly innocent.

[thanksoptimus]

By the Allspark this bot is annoying.

"Starscream you are obviously avoiding a subject and I would like to know what it is," he says.

[starscheme]

Look, the feeling is mutual. Why can't this guy just leave this alone.

Starscream lets out a low, grunting whine and ex-vents heavily, deflating. "I'm sure you realize that Megatron and I have an extensive history together... Working side by side for millennia, I've become something of an expert in reading his mannerisms, and his more subtle behaviors..."

He never thought he'd have to use the words 'Megatron' and 'subtle' in a sentence together, but here they are.

"Any other supposed information that I have is purely speculation based off of this prior knowledge."

[thanksoptimus]

Well that makes sense and everything - sense enough. But what doesn't make sense is why Starscream seems to wound up about it. What could he be guessing that would make him so nervous?

"Then why are you so nervous?" he asks.

[starscheme]

Rather than explain his nervousness, Starscream decides to just lay the facts bare and let Optimus try and figure out the rest for himself.

"It seemed to me that he was... unusually distressed after the battle for the forge. He deliberately seemed freluctnat about seeing yo- about seeing Orion Pax again, so soon after the conflict. For what reason, I really cannot say."

[thanksoptimus]

Optimus's eyes narrow - not out of anger, but out of suspicion. What does he think he's playing at, with that? Was that supposed to mean that Megatron had been somehow uncomfortable in his presence?

The idea irritates him. Mostly due to how little it stopped him, in the end.

"I see."

[starscheme]

Starscream, in his 'delicate' state, is more prone to interpret it as anger. He holds his hands up and open defensively (as much as he can with the restriction of the cuffs, anyway), flinching a bit.

"Well you asked. Honest to Primus, that's my honest interpretation of the facts, take them or leave them. If I knew what he had been up to in the fight before hand that may have caused such a reaction, I might be able to interpret for your further, but as things are right now that is not knowledge that I have access to."

[thanksoptimus]

Well, he had mostly been deciding that there was no point in pretending that he wasn't a monster anymore, with over the top laugh and all. Though Optimus does remember a conversation they had, where Megatron had almost been self righteous about his ability to better care for Orion than the Autobots.

"Calm down, Starscream," he says, finally. "I do not intend to harm you."

[starscheme]

He clenches his fists in mild surprise and glances away. "Ah. Well... yes. Of course."

After a brief moment he cautiously glances back again. "Ahem. Is there... ah, anything else, that I can assist you with then?" He sounds guarded. Please say that they're done here, or at least move onto a topic other than their mutual ex-boyfriend's weird emotional constipation, this is so goddamn uncomfortable for him to talk about.

[thanksoptimus]

If Optimus had ever been a bot comfortable with the concept of doing things 'an eye for an eye' then Starscream certainly would have had something coming. But really, it doesn't isn't worth it. It isn't as if he doesn't get more than enough of that from Megatron anyway.

He doesn't understand why he stays. In the past he might have had some hope that things could be turned around for Starscream, but in the wake of the last few months, it's been pretty well proven that genuine kindness does nothing to earn the Seeker's loyalty.

"If I find myself needing further information, I will come to you. As it is...I am uncertain of how to handle your stay here, in the future. Captives are not intended to be held here indefinitely."

At a larger outpost they would probably have something meant for prisoners of war, but even so, it's not as if Starscream is actually a member of the Decepticons at the moment.

[starscheme]

'How to handle' his stay here? That doesn't exactly raise any confidence in the ex-con. He hadn't even considered that there might be any issue with keeping him here, and the implication only adds worry to his already considerably full plate.

"But I promise to be on my best behavior," he says helpfully, looking contrite. "If you would take under consideration the possibility of removing the clamp, you likely won't even hear a peep out of me; the damn thing is awfully hard on a bots flight sensors and I'm getting an awful crick, and it's not like I can fly out of here anyway."

He garnishes the request with another sheepish, but this time oddly sincere, smile.

[thanksoptimus]

He doesn't mean he's considering killing you Starscream holy shit. He gives Starscream a tired look.

"Yes. However, I am certain you would consider being kept in this environment permanently cruel." A few days or a few weeks wouldn't concern Optimus much at this point, but presently the only option is to keep Starscream in the brig for the months or years this mission might take. There was the possibility that he could be shipped off planet at a later date, but the Seeker was only going to get more bored with time, and with his boredom would come trouble.

He is conflicted about this, for reasons of varying validity. Part of him does want revenge, somehow. The part of him that still feels on edge from what he had experienced as Orion. The part of him that felt genuinely betrayed by someone he thought might have been his friend.

But he has never used another's cruelty as an opportunity to match their level, so why should he now?

"I am willing to remove the clamp for you, if you are sincere in your willingness to cooperate."

[starscheme]

If only Optimus knew how close he'd come to succeeding in earning Starscream's respect, or had voiced his thoughts on the matter out loud; then he'd have seen the Seeker get REALLY uncomfortable.

Starscream brightens considerably though, pleasantly surprised by the decision. He hadn't actually expected a positive response on that. "One hundred percent sincere. I knew I could rely on you for a fair and merciful response, Optimus Prime."

[thanksoptimus]

Starscream gets the stare equivalent of an eyeroll to that, as he vents slowly out of his exhaust. Moments like this make him don't exactly make him feel the best about his own inclinations. He doesn't do it so he can feel good about himself.

"I only wish that had been mutual, Starscream," he rumbled, temporarily deactivating the containment field. "Turn around."

[starscheme]

He obliges, face registering mild confusion as he turns. "I'm... not sure that I understand what you are driving at," he says guardedly.

[thanksoptimus]

Optimus takes out the key to the clamp, putting a hand on Starscream's shoulder just to ensure he doesn't do anything weird once he's taken the clamp off. Having Starscream mess with him again is really not what he needs right now.

He's honestly not sure if he wants to bother following through with that thought, based on Starscream's reaction. It's hard to imagine, from a strictly Optimus perspective, how anyone could be surprised by what had happened at all. The fact he had been, though, still stings. And though it is a futile thought, part of him wishes that Starscream was emotionally capable of feeling regret for it.

"I had considered you a friend, at a point during this. I was proven wrong."

The clamp clicks open, freeing Starscream's wings.

[starscheme]

Sweet relief- except not really.

Some deep, distant part of Starscream does feel regret, but it's not an emotion he's familiar enough with to be able to identify it. It just confuses him, makes him angry.

For a rare, brief moment he's speechless. The clamp comes off and he grunts with relief and starts to flex his wings enthusiastically, working the kinks out... then they tuck back in alarm (potentially grazing Optimus inadvertently if he's still within range of them).

It sounds like hyperbole, but it's not: No one has earnestly used the word "friend" with regards to Starscream since... well, he literally can't remember. Since before the war, at least. And he hasn't reciprocated or used it sincerely towards anyone else, probably ever.

"Yes, well... that was your mistake. I don't have friends; the handful of individuals in my line of work can't afford the risk," he mutters with forced sounding disdain, like he's covering for something he's sensitive about. It's the hard truth of being a Decepticon officer (not that Starscream had ever at any point been very good at people even before he became that). The stakes of Decepticon politics are far too high, only the lower ranking officers can really afford to foster personal relationships or let anyone to get close to them.

The wings come back up, flexing laterally, almost like a bird flapping. "I can offer you this much in penance: My actions certainly weren't anything personal. You can rest easy about that."

[thanksoptimus]

Optimus pulls way from Starscream as he starts flapping his wings around, just barely avoiding getting clipped. He frowns in mild irritation, listening to those words, before sliding away his key into one of his robot pockets I guess.

"The me you speak to now was not the one fooled," he says, his voice flat. "Nor the one hurt."

He steps out of the cell and closes the containment field.

[starscheme]

He only halfway turns back around, a warning growl underscoring his words: "In that case, why bother bringing it up at all?" The emotions he is broadcasting are marked by the same uncertainty and defensive aggression he displayed back during all of the emotionally charged discussions they had when they- or he and Orion Pax, anyway- were held captive by the rogue AI.

[thanksoptimus]

Orion Pax probably would have been concerned about that. He would have seen the vulnerability in someone so ashamed and unfamiliar with their own emotions, that they react to something like this with compensation and aggression. He would have tried to do something about it, even at risk to himself.

Optimus realizes that the bot he had become would not. Not for someone like Starscream, not like this. Not after so much. Not when he just...

The years of war bear down on him with a weight he has never truly felt. To see and feel yourself so divided...more and more, he wishes that he had not. The psychological ramification of this feel more and more damning by the moment.

"Because I still remember. I remember thinking of you in a different light, even if my optics see different now."

[starscheme]

Maybe that had been what was slowly endearing him to Orion Pax, even if at the time he found the bot's earnestness in that regard to be tiring and vexing.

He turns to face Optimus fully again, crick in his wing forgotten for now. "Let me ask you something, if you are so interested in baring your emotions," he deflects. "Why do you always speak as if you and he are two entirely different people? His experiences inform your own, do they not?"