capitalh | No you can't!

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No you can't!

Who: Eusine and Miko
Where: Somewhere in LA /gestures vaguely
When: M-M-M-MUSICAL EVENT
What: The Mysticalman comes across an annoyingly slippery bad guy. Miko comes across the Mysticalman. It all goes downhill from here.
Warnings: Extreme losers

It's not a good day for Eusine. Catching that petty robber should have been a piece of cake, really. Some D-lister with a guitar? Frankly, it's almost insulting that you would even suggest he's incapable of handling this.

And yet... cornering him took a ludicrous amount of time. A combination of bad luck and unaligned astral bodies, clearly, and nothing to do with the fact the guy can break glass with his voice. Not a problem for the Mysticalman, master of gadgets! ... is what Eusine would have said, if only one of his rockets hadn't jammed at the exact worst moment, leaving him to continue his pursuit on foot. If not for his amazing tracking skills, the villain might very well have escaped! Oh, the tragedy.

But no matter. No one can escape JUSTICE for very long, especially when JUSTICE is ridiculously tenacious, prone to dramatic speeches and loud enough to drown-out their voice-related powers. Most people would have the good sense to look a tiny bit ashamed for taking so long to catch a mere robber, probably; Eusine, however, is leaning more towards satisfied smugness as he ties the criminal up, because being humble is clearly for people with no faith in their own abilities.

Yep. Totally got this.

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"Yes they are!!" Maybe if he sings with enough gusto Miko will forget she ever saw that!

"No they're NOT!" Oh so is singing extra-aggressively what we're doing now.

"Yes they are, YES THEY ARE!" This is exactly what we're doing now. There's even a snarky edge to his voice, because he clearly didn't already sound like an asshole.

Pleased by the fact he totally shut Miko up with his flawless rebuttal (or more like he doesn't even give her the time to reply) he launches into some more bragging:

"I can find a bigfoot, without making a hoot!"

She could say something here about how thoroughly she doubts that Eusine can do anything "without making a hoot", but instead she retorts, "I can track a story, no matter how gory!"

Excuse you Miko, this conversation isn't about you.

He points to his chest with his thumb: "I can live on wine and cheese!"

She leans forward, hand on her hips, feigning interest. "And only on that?"

C'mon, Eusine, take the bait.

Hah! It's good to finally see some interest in here.

"Yes." Affirmative and straightforward. What a paragon of strength and manliness.

"So you’re French, I knew that." Sorry Eusine, but if you insist on acting like a living stereotype ALL THE TIME, she will use it to make fun of you. That's the rule.

But ladies love the suave Frenchman stereotype! There's no way so many Harlequin novels could have lied to him now, is there?

He huffs. When in doubt, change topics.

"Any note you can reach, I can go higher!"

They absolutely lied to him. More like harLIEquin novels okay no that was bad.

"I can sing anything higher than you." She's still pretty smug over that last "win" (if anyone can be said to win anything here), and now he's going to go with THAT as his next argument?

Miko, there's no way you're winning that one. His singing can SHATTER GLASS.
...
In retrospect, maybe it had something to do with his magic and maybe (just maybe) this isn't something he should be proud of. But you know.

"No you can't!" His voice is a bit higher but not outrageously so. Honestly, Miko could probably beat that without even trying. Maybe he should have picked something he doesn't naturally has a disadvantage at, what with being a guy and all.

"Yes I can!" Her pitch is just a bit higher than his, though she is pretty clearly aware of her advantage here if the smirk is anything to go by.

"No you can't!" He raises his pitch just above Miko's. He'll wipe that smirk off her face, just you wait.

"Yes I can!" Another step up. She's not gonna be giving up that easy.

"No you can't!" Giving up? Not in his vocabulary either.

"Yes I can!" The worst part is that these two are both legally considered adults, capable of making decisions for themselves.

"No you can't!!!" Two perfectly mature adults indeed. It's absolutely terrifying.

"Yes I can!!!" They should be ashamed.

However, Miko is not remotely ashamed, and is, in fact, only getting more intense about this. Incredible.

"No you CAN'T!!!" Asha-what now?

Unfortunately, Eusine is also getting more intense about it. Fortunately, this is the highest his voice can go without him going back in time and making his kid self a eunuch. He's pretty sure Miko can't beat that though. No way. He's got this.

Think again, Eusine. "Yes I CAN!!!"

It is absolutely piercing. Nobody should ever let her do that again.

Before giving him a chance to respond, though, she goes on; "Anything you can buy, I can buy cheaper. I can buy anything cheaper than you."

Ouch. His ears are still ringing from that. It's a good thing this bout of impromptu singing lends itself well to repetition, because he manages to catch the second half of Miko's bragging at least.

But really? Please Miko, step aside. He is a master negotiator.

"Fifty cents?"

"Forty cents." She is a photography intern whose primary income comes from a customer service job, clearly Eusine doesn't have a chance.

"Thirty cents?" He's... a rich guy who's never had to work a real job in his entire life. Well then.

"Twenty cents!" If nothing else maybe this will give her an advantage when having an argument in an alleyway with a guy wearing a cape about which of them is better at haggling.

Because that's a situation that everyone is likely to encounter at some point, obviously. Gotta be prepared.

Just another perfectly normal day for the Mysticalman, really.

"No you can't!" Thirty cents was fine, but twenty cents? Nope, this breaks his suspension of disbelief.

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i'm using this icon so often i might as well make it my default i stg

i blame this thread as a whole

a singularity of smugness

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lmk if you'd rather get a post in before moving on

SEEMS GOOD TO ME

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