CELEBRITY SINGLES AUCTION: THE ACTUAL POST

[capitalm]

Who: Anybody either letting themselves be auctioned or interested in bidding in the CELEBRITY SINGLES AUCTION
Where: LA city hall
When: NOW ! (Afternoon on February 5th!)
What: CELEBRITY SINGLES AUCTION (FOR CHARITY)
Warnings: Nothing yet!

The hall where the auction is due to take place is all decked out in pink, white and red Valentine's decorations – hearts everywhere, the odd glittery cupid. Probably someone is selling appropriately decorated cupcakes. At the far end is the stage, where each CELEBRITY SINGLE in turn will have their hand in DATE auctioned off to the highest bidder.

SO HERE'S HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK:

- Tag in with your character/NPC if they're offering themselves up in the name of DATE CHARITY. Include a little bit about what kind of public image they have, especially if they're an NPC.
- If you have a character or NPC who wants to bid on other character/s, reply to them with your character's bid – just the amount of their bid is fine, it doesn't have to be a Full Actual Tag or anything!
- If your character has been definitively outbid, though, make sure you reply to say so, rather than leaving the other bidders hanging.
- Be realistic about how much money your character has to spend on this kind of thing! This is for charity so generous donations are appreciated, of course, but not everybody is a millionaire.

The starting bid for all CELEBRITY DATES is $50.

Remember that characters who have volunteered to be auctioned as superheroes are advised do so in costume to avoid compromising their secret identities!

If you didn't already establish an NPC on the planning post for this event but you just had an idea for one that you really want to use, go ahead and do it, we do not mind.

Comments

[hugling]

Teddy is having serious misgivings regarding letting Milly talk him into this. For one thing, he's not even that famous. Sure, he's been in the newspaper a couple times and he had a 30 second interview in a local news TV spot (Unregistered Heroes: the Villains of Vigilantism?), but he certainly isn't on the level of most of the other heroes here. For another thing, dates aren't really his area of expertise. Like, at all.

Still, he looks his best because Teddy always looks his best. Skin a pleasant shade of green, hair and clothing immaculate, teeth perfectly white, eyes almost unnaturally blue. He doesn't exactly seem thrilled to be here, but Teddy can socialize with the best of them, and he returns smiles and sips his non-alcoholic cocktail with at least a shred of grace.

[chapterfiveversenine]

Unclassified alien species are certainly a priority in Legion's book. Their platform has had maintenance, shined clean of the pings and energy scoring that usually accompany hero work, and for the most part they haven't moved at all, but ultimately the consensus has decided that engaging with others is the entire point of this exercise.

"Hello," they say. "You are the hero Hulkling?"

[hugling]

"Yeah, that's me. Legion, right?" Of course he knows who Legion is, but just dispensing with introductions seems rude.

"It's nice to meet you. This auction is pretty intense, huh? I didn't realize people would be bidding so much money."

[chapterfiveversenine]

"It is two-point-five times projected prices," Legion affirms. "It is unlikely that any of these ventures will lead to a long-term relationship or sexual gratification. We do not understand."

[hugling]

"Yeah, I don't think that's really the point here. More like, a chance to spend a lot of money to hang out with your favorite public figures. For fans, and stuff."

He stirs his virgin bloody Mary with its celery stick. "What about you? Are you signed up for the auction?"

[chapterfiveversenine]

"Yes. Various agents expressed mixed opinions, but all agreed that organics would find it amusing."

They pause. "We are not sure why."

[hugling]

"Um. People like to be in proximity to famous people? And also people they admire, but especially people other people admire."

One of the saving graces of coming to Earth as a baby is not having to learn this stuff off of Wikipedia.

[chapterfiveversenine]

Legion tilts their head. "Do they believe that contact with those of high status will earn them greater social standing? This is a common trope in local media."

[hugling]

Teddy nods, sipping his drink. "Yeah, something like that. Bragging rights, and stuff. I mean, not as much in LA because there are celebrities everywhere, so you have the whole thing of casually mentioning that you saw Brad Pitt in your local Starbucks like it's no big deal, you see Brad Pitt all the time, or whatever."

Okay, this is getting way too cynical. "So, uh, did your CONDOR friends get you to volunteer?"

[chapterfiveversenine]

Instead of responding, Legion plays an audio file.

"Dude, come on, it'd be hilarious!"

"Agent Canton, with all due respect-"

"By which you mean no-"

"- I don't think it's a good idea to put someone with Legion's...attitudes in a situation like this."

Legion's own voice cuts in: "You may describe our lack of social skill however you wish, Agent Li. We have no objections to being entered in this event."

"See, Legion agrees with me! It's a charity event! It's not like it's not for a good cause."

"Similar attitudes were expressed by several other agents," Legion states, ending the recording.

[hugling]

"Ah. Yeah. That actually sounds weirdly like what Starbreaker said to me when this was announced."

Never listen to Milly.

"Do you get to go to a lot of fancy things like this?" Teddy can't imagine that being an alien robot superhero affords itself a lot of cocktail party dress code opportunities.

[chapterfiveversenine]

"We have never had a reason to attend," Legion says, turning to observe the room. "Social interaction is limited to other heroes and CONDOR agents. Most are of the opinion that such events are a waste of time."

[hugling]

"Right. Are you... having fun?"

Robots can have fun, right? Teddy wants to ask, but it seems rude.

[chapterfiveversenine]

Legion responds in the best way they know how:

"We are gathering useful data."

[hugling]

Teddy's not really sure how to respond to that, but it seems like it's probably a positive statement?

"Um. That's cool. This has been more fun than I thought, anyway."

[chapterfiveversenine]

"What did you enjoy about it?"

Head tilt, plate ripple. "We wish to learn about socialization."

[hugling]

"I mean, some of my hero friends are here, and it's kind of nice to hang out with them without some kind of mole people invasion."

He shrugs, idly wondering if he could pull off Legion's shape, thinking about which parts of his skull would turn into which plates.