ANOTHER OPEN LOG

[nitrodamus]

Who: Sollux and anyone who could be in the Trailblazer dorms.
Where: Trailblazer dorms.
When: January 31st and onward, whenever is convenient.
What: Sollux finally ventures out of Karkat's room for little bits at a time, and typically makes messes.
Warnings: Sollux, mostly.

[Either talk to me OOC and I'll set up a thread or just tag in and I'll reply with a description of what Sollux is going at the time! Threads below.]

Comments

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Ah.

Karkat approaches carefully.

"Hey, man..." He sidles over, looking down past Sollux at the page that he's staring at and trying to work out what on it has offended him so badly.

[nitrodamus]

It isn't super obvious, looking at the page. At first glance it just looks like a bunch of ads, some for pizza delivery, advertising space, and for upcoming holiday events. His ear twitches as Karkat approaches but he doesn't look less downtrodden.

"Hey..." he mumbles in Alternian. It's always a relief to be talking to Karkat instead of anyone else. He can feel his heart beating quickly in his throat. He doesn't really know what to say.

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Karkat frowns and sits down next to him. He avoids looking straight at him, and whenever he does he looks away quickly, as he has done since Sollux has been able to look back at him. Fortunately this situation provides ample excuse to just look at the newspaper instead.

"What's up," he says, as if he is casually addressing someone who isn't doing anything crazy.

[nitrodamus]

"We're the only ones here aren't we?" he asks quietly, still staring at the newspaper, though his eyes glisten slightly.

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Karkat stops dead for a moment, staring at nothing, and then his face falls, his ears droop; he doesn't look up.

He'd already given up thinking that he might ever see any of his friends again when Sollux arrived, and he feels like one lost friend reunited with him is more than he can reasonably hope for – he's sure that if Sollux was imprisoned for almost a year before he found his way here, then if any of the others were still making their way to Earth, they would have arrived by now.

Unless they'd ended up in the same place as Sollux had.

He swallows.

"Yeah," he says, dully.

[nitrodamus]

Sollux fidgets with the paper, scratching his blunted nail over the heart of a Valentine's day ad. His head hurts, suddenly. Everything about this hurts.

"I didn't...I didn't mean to lose...I don't know where they went. I can't remember." He shivers with misery.

[10thingsihateaboutme]

"No," Karkat says, "it was my fault. I was supposed to..."

He trails off, watching Sollux mess with the paper, noticing the ad, and looks away.

"... She's probably okay," he says. "Probably people looking for her the same way they were looking for me."

[nitrodamus]

He doesn't know if he really believes that. Because there were probably a lot more trolls that actively wanted this one dead. If not worse.

"I feel like..." He trails off, his words stalling out. He feels oppressive flashes of memory in the back of his head, like something ever present that he refuses to acknowledge. "Like she should have been..."

"What if she isn't? I should have...I should have been with her."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

"She probably is," Karkat says again – because while it may be true there are more people who know who Feferi is to want her dead, the way he sees it... "There's probably even more people looking to help her out, especially after we got out of the Empire in the first place – she's probably got some intense rebellion guys helping her plan some kind of gnarly uprising as we speak." (He sounds a little jealous.) "Seriously, man, I'm sure she's fine."

[nitrodamus]

Sollux trills sadly in his throat, a soft sound that is nearly subconscious. He wants to believe Karkat, but something is holding him back.

"I hit the water," he mumbles, "and I was scared that she..."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Karkat frowns a little, and glances at him questioningly. Is there something more to this...?

"... Scared that she what," he prompts.

[nitrodamus]

"I'm scared I don't...I don't remember it right, I feel like...I should have been with her. I wouldn't leave her alone." He sniffles and buzzes, wiping his eyes. "I just started drowning and I don't remember..."

He's obviously starting to panic as he thinks more deeply on this. Whatever he's trying to remember has triggered an emotional reaction to his abuse.

"I have dreams about it, KK..."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Karkat looks at the floor, uncomfortable.

"Look, bro," he says, in a low, unsteady voice, "if it was up to me I wouldn't have left any of you dipshits out of my sight for a second. You didn't fuck up on that, I did."

[nitrodamus]

"I don't care," he says, choking up. "I don't care who's fault it is, not anybody besides them." He braces his head in his arms, shaking. "I just...I just listened to the voices all the time, just hoping that...that..."