SUPER BARBECUE SUPER BARBECUE SUPER BARBECUE [open as heck]

[hugling]

Who: SUPER HEROES!!!!!
Where: Ernest E. Debs Regional Park!
When: Sunday!
What: SUPER BARBECUE
Warnings: Superheroes...



It's a pleasant evening at Ernest E. Debs Regional Park, just a couple miles from downtown LA, which can be seen through the haze. Late March means spring is just arriving in LA and the trees are just starting to bud. Unfortunately, the grass is still kind of dead and dry.

The barbecue and picnic area isn't too busy, though the park does have the usual assortment of joggers, dog walkers, and cyclists. There are some balloons tied to picnic tables, and strung between two trees is a very homemade "SUPER BBQ" banner, courtesy of Hulkling and Starbreaker. There's still glitter glue on Milly's apartment floor. There's another posterboard with the rules written on it in big bold sharpie letters nearby, just in case anyone forgets:

• Don't be a jerk!!!
• Keep your weapons holstered please.
• Do not trash the park!
• ABSOLUTELY NO FIGHTING
• Anyone caught fighting will be asked to leave!
• Really don't be a jerk!

[OKAY GUYS!!! mingle! have fun! maybe some THINGS WILL HAPPEN, whoooo knows!]

Comments

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Oh, okay then. Five definitely doesn't sound like an invasion force; definitely nothing worth worrying about, even if he was inclined to report anything to the authorities. "No shit," he says. "I'm not telling them where you are, I won't tell them where these guys are." He pauses. "BD? Is that the one who escaped from TRIDENT-?"

[nitrodamus]

"Yeah," he says. "His name is Breakdown. He's pretty cool. That Earth puppy that's been running around is his. His robot matesprit bought it for him for some reason."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

He looks sort of surprised. "Robot matesprit? Do robots do quadrants?"

[nitrodamus]

"Not really, but I asked him if him and Knock Out were dating and he said they weren't, but like, in a way that I think basically meant they were unspokenly pale. But then they started fucking in the med bay every night so what the hell do you know, right."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

"... Huh," says Karkat thoughtfully. "So, like, a flip, or –?" He frowns. "What kind of cultural context do they even have for that sort of shit?" His eyes are behind a mask, but he is nonetheless getting that Look where if he had a notepad or something, he would be reaching for it. A brief pause. "Do robots seriously actually fuck?"

[nitrodamus]

"Yeah, I basically saw them do it. They just don't fucking spray genetic fluid everywhere afterwards since they aren't even fertile. It is the loudest fucking horseshit I have ever heard though."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Karkat wrinkles his nose a little, but he looks fascinated. "Are you shitting me," he says, but he seems less interested in the actual mechanics of the thing than... well. "So what, like, that's a new thing? Or he just said it wasn't anything when they were robot bulgetangling this entire time?"

[nitrodamus]

"No. I guess I just asked him, he told me no, and then immediately changed his fucking mind about it and banged the shit out of that sports car. I can't claim to fully understand the ways of their people but from my understanding, that was a fine piece of painfully rigid robot ass."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Karkat gives a thoughtful, buzzing hum. "Maybe he just hadn't thought about it until you said something," he suggests, clearly more interested than is really warranted. "Do you know why they even do it? Like, if you said they aren't fertile..."

[nitrodamus]

"Yeah I dunno maybe he just realized what an amazing idea it was after he failed to consider it for like a thousand consecutive sweeps. I am the exact kind of kraft fresh perspective these robots need."

And he raises an eyebrow.

"And I don't fucking know man I even asked one of them how they make grubs and it was some bullshit about puddles of robot magic on their homeworld that they just spring out of fully formed."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

"What the hell," Karkat says, staring at him. "Well fuck, no wonder this guy is complete shitwipe garbage at romance, if they don't even need to do it – I mean, the alternative is he's just been sitting on this shit for a thousand consecutive sweeps and he only decided to bother doing anything about it because you brought it up like it was actually feasible." He grimaces. "Do the rest of them blow at it this bad?"