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Who: Arcee and YOU!
Where: All around L.A.
When: THIS WEEK
What: Arcee's scouting out the city, gathering information and getting to know humankind.
Warnings: idk robots

Nothing about this mission has been easy. Not spending the terse weeks in the cramped Rod Pod with Rodimus, not trying to keep her troops in line, nothing to do with Optimus -- no, Orion now. It had been hard to let him go, to watch him walk away when she knows that she and the other Autobot pose the least threat to him. If he goes back to Megatron, Arcee's not sure what'll happen with the war. And the fact that Megatron's on this planet at all is cause for concern.

That, and the considerably more local threats. Orion's terrifying bout of mind control hadn't come at the hands of the Decepticons, but something Earth-based. Something deeply sinister. Arcee knows a bit about this planet, but not enough. It's starting to look like they might be here a while, so she decides it's time for some serious recon.

She has a holomatter avatar for precisely this reason -- blending in with the local populace, maintaining a low profile. It's a remote projection, solid enough to interact with its environment and relay data back to Arcee. She can learn a lot just by driving around, but certain information is a lot easier to come by when you get up close and personal. She can be found around the city either as her human avatar, who's gathering any information she might be able to find about Megatron's whereabouts and the strange happenings in L.A. of light, or as a sleek motorcycle on the city streets, either bearing a holographic rider when on the move (because a motorcycle moving on its own would definitely be cause for suspicion), or unattended while parked out of the way to watch passersby.

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Despite his best efforts, Orion's attempt at being independent has yet to become very constructive. In truth, he just has no idea where to start.

He managed to talk Magdal's ear off a little about issues, but even that couldn't give him an answer so easily. It helped him consider things a bit more objectively, perhaps, but that was only of limited use when his spark was so tied up in this. Either option would hurt, and even if he could decide which hurt more, what he wants to believe has little to do with what's actually true.

He knows that. He does, and he hates ever day he wastes not being sure. Either way, he is leaving his friends to worry - or people who should be his friends. He hasn't spoken to Megatron since he left.

The guilt is what has really been getting to him. It seems like no matter what action he takes he is doing someone wrong, but he knows that anything less than the correct choice is unacceptable. There's not guarantee that if he doesn't make the decision for himself, and soon, that someone else won't make it for him.

Right now, his indecision has him shellshocked, and he can think of little to do with the situation but remain in his alt mode and try to think. He's taken to parking at a truck stop towards the outer rings of the city, and thus far he's spent almost two days doing nothing but watching humans come and go and intermittently recharging.

He's angry about what's been done to him, but more than anything, he's angry at himself.

Arcee's spent most of the day just driving around the city already,
trying to gather information, but while she's learned some things
about the day to day comings and goings of humankind, she's picked up
very little about the Decepticons or the threats the Earth itself
holds. She's decided to call it a day and head back to the Rod Pod to
regroup; she's grinding out her frustration on the road, just focusing
on the sensation of her tires on asphalt, when she passes the truck
stop. It's impossible not to recognize Orion's alt mode, especially
when she spends so much time thinking about him, about whether or not
he's okay on his own. He'd been in bad shape when he'd left the
Autobots.

She hesitates to approach him at first. He hasn't reached out to her
since he left; she doesn't know what's happened in the interim. Then
again, she's fairly sure he's alone. And it's not like she wouldn't
leave him alone if he asked her to. She just wants to check on him,
that's all.

Arcee flashes her headlights briefly as she circles around to pull
into the space next to Orion, her holographic driver appearing to
dismount once her engines have idled, and she hits up his comm link.
Might as well keep the conversation private, if they can. "Orion? It's
Arcee."

When he's already been doing little more than zoning out for several hours now, its easy for such a communication to catch him off guard - especially since his comm link has only just been repaired. His engine abruptly rumbles in surprise, and he finds himself far more agitated than he would have been in the past.

He's still feeling the edges of what happened to him in the tower. Any sense of being snuck up in leaves him panicked.

It takes him another moment to realize that her vehicle mode is actually right next to him.

"Arcee," he replies, his voice stiff in a way that clearly betrays his surprise.

Well, this conversation's already off to a great start. It seems like it's impossible to get off on the right foot with Orion, despite her best efforts. This whole situation is just...impossible.

"Sorry -- I didn't mean to scare you." It's a genuine apology, but she has to struggle to keep the disquieted tone from her voice. She's getting the sense this conversation won't last very long. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

A little bit of exhaust plumes out of Orion's tubes as he balances himself, already feeling uncomfortable with the way he greeted her. It wasn't any sort of personal reaction, this time, he's fairly certain. It's more that he is just a total mess at the moment no matter how you look at it.

"It is fine," he says, his engine winding down. He's trying to sound formal and polite, but there is a strain to his tone. "I meant no ill will, I just...have been in a reasonably poor state. Which I am sure does not surprise you."

That's a comfort, though a small one. Arcee doesn't feel good about the fact that he's so jumpy, that he's so...unlike himself. He hasn't been faring well since he left the Rod Pod, that much is clear, and Arcee feels a pang of guilt in her spark. Maybe she should have tried to get him to stay longer, at least until he'd recovered.

"Not really," she admits grimly, sighing. "You weren't in great shape when you left. That's...why I wanted to make sure you were doing all right." And evidently, you're not, is what she wants she want to say, but that doesn't seem constructive. She's never had to choose her words so carefully with him before. "You haven't been attacked, have you?"

"I have not," he says, his words continuing to come out awkwardly as he struggles to say the right things. It's more a desperate grab to be socially appropriate when he doesn't really know what that means in this context.

"I received some medical aid from a member of the local indigenous species. They did not know our species anatomy well, but their familiarity with machines allowed them to help somewhat." He falls silent for a few moments. His rear view mirror shifts.

"...I apologize for the stress I have likely caused you as of late. Whether you are wrong or right, it has not been my intention."

"You let a human work on you?" There's a thread of rising alarm in Arcee's voice, though it's not accusatory, just worried. "Orion, that could have been incredibly dangerous. I'm sure most humans don't mean us any harm here, but -- "

Well, she still doesn't know who exactly was responsible for the mind control. It could have been human, it could've been something else, but they don't know what humans are capable of. What they'd do with information on Cybertronians. Discretion has always been their top priority on alien planets.

But it's his last comment that catches her off guard. So much of their conversation has been painful, strained; Arcee knows he's just been trying to be courteous, polite even, but the genuine admission of regret is strangely unexpected. It's strangely personal, coming from someone who'd seemingly been trying to put distance between himself and the Autobots. Her tone softens immediately, taking the words to heart.

"Orion, it's...all right. It's not your fault. It's...part of the package, I guess."

"It was...a friend of a friend," he explains. He knows full well it still could have been dangerous, but when it had come as a recommendation from Magdal, it had felt like something he could be much more certain about. Also, Vanessa's status as 'human' was a confusing one to him.

"And I feel the weight of responsibility for it all the same. The longer I go undecided, the large burden I put on my true allies. I am not all that worried for myself."

Arcee doesn't know what organic allies Orion could possibly have on this planet, but she decides she has to at least trust his judgment there. Second guessing everything he does won't help, and at least he hadn't gone back to the Decepticons. After all, he's not that different from Optimus, not where it counts, and she'd always trusted his judgment.

"You never are," Arcee sighs; this is strangely familiar. "But I am. Orion, I think...this is harder on you than anyone right now. You've been thrust into the middle of the story, asked to make a choice based on secondhand evidence alone. And it's personal for you. I can appreciate how difficult it must be. But whatever you decide to believe about Megatron...I just need you to know that Optimus Prime wasn't a war mongering tyrant. He was one of the best bots I've ever known, and I wouldn't be standing today if it weren't for him. Whatever else you decide, I just want you to know that. Because believe me, Orion -- if Optimus Prime were half as ruthless as Megatron says, the war would have been over a long time ago."

Perhaps he should have been, then, Orion thinks darkly for a moment, though it's a sentiment that is quickly brushed aside. The idea of so many years of war is still hard for him to fathom, and any world where that could have been truncated is an appealing one. He misses Iacon badly, and even weeks later it's still hard to imagine its loss.

"May I ask you a...personal question?" he eventually asks, his tone careful. "What is your relation to Optimus Prime?"

A personal question, from Orion Pax? It seems like he's avoided asking those thus far. At least where Arcee is concerned, anyway. It's the first thing he's really asked her about herself, outside of what she thinks about Optimus Prime. And even most of that had been volunteered rather than solicited. Her mirrors angle towards him, as if in a sidelong glance.

"I'm...not sure I understand what you're asking, exactly," she admits, her tone considering. "Optimus Prime is my commander -- or was, anyway. But you already knew that."

When Arcee's mirror tilts, Orion's tilts away, like a weird truck equivalent of avoiding her gaze. This is a stupid question, he thinks. She is right, what more would there be to it?

He thinks about his own feelings for Megatron, though, and how lost he feels. There have been so many little things about the way she's responded to him, that he's starting to wonder.

"I have...gotten the impression that even beyond rank, there was a particular emotional bond. I mean to ask if there has been something I am missing that I should be...taking into account."

Oh Primus why did he just ask that.

Arcee feels a little foolish -- the question seems obvious in retrospect, and that Orion would want to know about anyone's relationship with Optimus beyond the command structure makes sense, even if he'd seemed to avoid the topic before.

"Optimus was..." She hesitates, trying to find a way to phrase it. It's hard to put it into words, exactly. To say they were friends doesn't feel entirely accurate, but it's a start, at least. "He wasn't just my commander, Orion, he was my friend. I've known him almost since the start of the war, and I've been under his command for most of that time. And when you serve with someone for that long, then...yeah, you could say there was a bond. He helped me through some very...difficult times. I trusted him more than most, and with good reason. He never gave me a reason to doubt his trust. I'm not saying I never disagreed with him -- trust me, I have -- but...there was never any doubt in my mind about his intentions. And I'd like to think he trusted me, too. At least, I don't think he'd have left me in command if he didn't."

She cycles air through her vents in a soft sigh, the weight of her machinery settling somewhat. "Optimus was always...difficult to get a read on. He didn't really open up very much. But we were close, in a way. And although I'm sure he wouldn't want me to, I'd lay my life down for him if it came to that."

He had already guessed that she was in command of this group, but the fact that she is in charge in more general terms in news to him. He's not at all surprised, given the way she acts, but it does make his worries of the situation more intense.

"He does not sound like the kind of bot one would give up easily," he says. "If you were to regain the Matrix..." He trails off.

Optimus not being one to open up sounds right, somehow. With Megatron having supposedly betrayed him as he did, Orion can easily imagine not wanting to behave so foolishly again.

Optimus had spoken of Megatron's betrayal before -- more than once, even -- but mostly it was just that...feelings had never seemed to enter the equation most of the time. But Arcee knows, even in the midst of all her doubt, that the fact that Optimus had chosen to share with her what he intended to do about Unicron, that he'd chosen her to lead in his stead...she knows that's significant. That it means something about the bond between her and Optimus, even if they never put it into words. And it makes her feel responsible too, somehow, for the bot he's reverted to without the Matrix -- for his protection.

"I wouldn't force you to take the Matrix, if that's what you're thinking." Arcee's voice is soft, but the words are hard, set with determination. "If you really never wanted to become Optimus Prime again -- if you wanted to stay Orion Pax -- I wouldn't make you. And I wouldn't let anyone else make you, either. I don't think that's what he'd have wanted."

It says something that he's starting to feel like he can believe her on that point - that it is hard to feel like this could all be some ruse to trick him into coming back to them. If it was, he feels like she could have manipulated him much easier but expressing the importance of him taking back the role. He likely would have felt compelled to bend to it, if only she were to push.

But she hasn't. This entire time, she's never even suggested that it's the choice he should make. Considering everything Optimus Prime means to the Autobots, that is more meaningful than anything else she could do.

"But it is what you would want," he says. It's not a question - it's a statement of fact. There's no bitterness in his words, just a plead for truth. "Were I to decide to reclaim the Matrix on my own, it would be what you were most glad for, would it not?"

Arcee is finding it difficult to respond. He's almost begging her to answer, to give him some kind of confirmation, and it just makes her spark heave in her chassis. She supposes all she can really do is tell him the truth.

"Orion, it's...not that simple." She hesitates, her voice heavy. "If you decided you wanted to be Optimus Prime again -- all on your own -- and you wanted to take the Matrix back...yes, I'd be glad. There are a lot of people who'd like to see Optimus Prime back in command, and they'd all be glad. But it's not just about that."

She rolls forward a little, just to circle around a bit and inch a little closer to Orion. "This isn't just about the Matrix or Optimus Prime. It's about you, too. Because Optimus Prime was more than just the bearer of the Matrix."

He feels a surge of anxiety - he's not angry about anything she's saying, but a certain fire rises up in him all the same. He doesn't agree with her. He can't.

"But it is not about me!" he says more urgently. "It is about so much more than just me, than about Orion Pax. What makes a bot are their memories - and without them, the Optimus Prime you knew is dead. I have no right to end another bot's life for the sake of my own, nor do I have any inclination to do so. How can you claim that it is all the same when it simply is not?"

His mirrors tilt upwards as he finds himself gazing towards the evening sky.

"Our people have been scattered to the stars, and from the beginning, if everything you say is true, they have placed their hopes and faith in their Prime. I would only be one small part in something so much greater."

For one brilliant moment, it's like listening to Optimus again, so much that it's jarring. Arcee feels something like hope swell in her spark, but it burns too hot, hits too hard for that to really be it. It feels just as much like trepidation. The emotion in his voice -- the passion -- those belong to Orion, but the words...those are words that could just as easily have come from Optimus.

"Optimus Prime isn't dead, Orion," she says quietly, circling around slowly to come to a halt in front of him. "You're right -- this is bigger than you, because it's bigger than all of us. But I don't think you fully understand the part you've played in it so far. Optimus Prime isn't dead, no more than Orion Pax died when he accepted the Matrix. I've known Optimus for thousands of years, and having met you, having talked to you...I can see it now. Optimus wasn't just someone to carry the Matrix -- that was only part of what made him Optimus Prime, and you were every bit as much a part of that. The Matrix gave Optimus the wisdom of the Primes, but the clarity of purpose, the willingness to see the good in every spark, the sense of responsibility you feel toward making every decision count, the dedication to ensuring the decisions you make are the right ones -- all of the things that made you worthy of the Matrix in the first place...those were a part of Optimus, too, what inspired people to stand by him. They're why I followed him for seven thousand years, and they're why I'm here now, because even with the Matrix gone, Orion, I can see that in you. Your memories might be gone, but...you'd be surprised at how little Optimus changed over the course of the war. Those things about him...they never changed."

He looks down at her alt form as he pulls around to his front. Words like this are crushing and inspiring all at once. Orion has never considered himself to be anything extraordinary - just a conscientious citizen trying to do what was right.

The future described to him is one he's never foreseen. But even if he doubts the idea of his own greatness, these traits are not ones he can deny valuing a great deal.

"Then all the more reason I should inevitably make the same choice," he says softly. "That I should not put myself above something that means so much to so many."

If Arcee weren't in her alt mode right now, she might be smiling faintly in spite of herself. He's only proved her point -- it's just the sort of thing she'd expect from Optimus -- and though her spark is heavy still, she feels a sliver of hope peek through. Maybe she's gotten through to him, just a bit.

"I think you have to decide that for yourself," she says honestly. "I think that if you feel like you still need more information, some kind of confirmation, then you should find it. But I know that whatever choice you make, it'll be because you believed it was the right one. I believe in you, Orion -- I believed in Optimus Prime, too, and I guess I just...wanted you to know why."

The wait of the realization is heavy, because it occurs to him now that he's started to believe. He believes her words, he believes what the Autobots have been trying to accomplish. He doesn't know how, but he's just come to understand its truth deep in his spark, like something instinctive. He can't see any falsehood in her - in any of them.

And that leaves something even more painful to contend with.

He vents harshly, traces of exhaust escaping his pipes. His engine rolls uncomfortably, and he can't really think of what to say. He just feels so intensely miserable for a moment that it's overwhelming, and his frame shakes with idle rumbling.

Arcee hadn't exactly been expecting a smile and a handshake, but she's not prepared for Orion's reaction all the same. She knows distress when she sees it, and she's at a loss for a moment, fumbling for something to say. Seeing Orion like this makes her feel like the bottom of her fuel tank's just dropped out. She can do the pep talks, she can rationalize and she can tell him what's in her spark, but seeing him upset like this...she has no idea what to say.

"Orion..." She inches closer, just enough to gently clink her front plating against his bumper. "Orion, it's -- it's okay."

He feels that touch, and his engine rumbles again, idly leaking exhaust. He's quick to try to pull himself together - this is the exact kind of emotional scene he's been avoiding making - but something about Arcee makes doing so feel less urgent than it might otherwise.

"The depth of such a betrayal," he explains, his voice strained with static, "is not a thing I am prepared for."

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