capitalh | [ this loss isn't good enough for sorrow or inspiration ]

Entry tags:

[ this loss isn't good enough for sorrow or inspiration ]

Who: Arcee, Rodimus, and Ultra Magnus
Where: The Autobot ""base""
When: March 17th/18th, not long after this
What: Arcee has to break the news to Rodimus and Magnus that their rescued leader...isn't really their leader at all.
Warnings: intense robot emotions

Arcee is still reeling from the conversation she's just had with Optimus -- no, Orion. She can feel her processor going in circles, stuck in a loop, stalling out just shy of actually comprehending the full implications of all this. They'd come to Earth for a rescue mission, and they had gotten so much more than they'd bargained for. And they still don't have Optimus.

There are so many implications that Arcee can't even count them. Megatron is on this planet, likely along with other Decepticons. Orion doesn't have the Matrix -- Arcee doesn't know where it is, but Megatron seems like a safe bet. Orion is steeped in old world idealism, putting his confidences in Megatron far more than the word of one of his most trusted lieutenants. And he wants to go back to the Decepticons. This is so much worse than bad.

The fact that the rest of the Autobots are halfway down for the count doesn't do anything to bolster her spark. They don't have a real base of operations here -- just their small ships and an even smaller niche in the mountains they've been using to recharge since they had to lock Orion in the Rod Pod. She'd done what she could with the first aid kid for her comrades, but they need a medic. They need a proper medibay and they need Ratchet. It's starting to look like they'll be on this planet for a lot longer than she initially bargained for, and she's starting to seriously consider sending a request for reinforcements. But can they afford to?

All of that will have to come later. She has to deal with what's in front of her now, and that means breaking the news to Ultra Magnus and Rodimus. She can't afford to let that crushing sense of defeat bring her down. She's still in command, and she has to stand fast, as long as she can.

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Arcee is in a grave state after her conversation with Orion. She needs to talk to someone -- someone with a level head. Unfortunately, she needs to break the news, too. Even with someone as clear-headed and collected as Ultra Magnus, this won't be an easy conversation.

She finds him outside, the desert around them quiet save for the whistle of the wind. She steps up next to him, unable to keep the heaviness from her expression. She tries to straighten up, square her shoulders, as she steps in next to him, but it's...it's hard, right now.

"Ultra Magnus. I need to talk to you."

Ultra Magnus had stepped outside earlier to clear his head and get out of the way of the others. His arm was smarting but nothing that wouldn't clear up on its own, and if they couldn't replace the plating for a while, that was something he could live with. He couldn't shake the nagging feeling he'd been too aggressive in the fight, that he'd been out of line. But there was nothing he could do about that now but do his best to keep their small team functioning.

Magnus wasn't much more help than Arcee as a medic, so there was no point in him tending to the others after helping her treat them initially, but he had to keep working on something. Anything to keep him busy as they waiting for Optimus to come back around. He'd been working on a data pad when Arcee came out, creating an inventory of their resources between the two ships. As she comes up beside him he puts the data pad down, giving her his full attention. Her tone already gives him concern, but with everything that's gone wrong he couldn't predict what the issue might be.

"What is it?"

She almost wishes he'd keep working. Something about having his full attention makes this a hell of a lot harder. She doesn't meet his gaze at first, rocking back on her heels as if to steel herself, but then she looks up at his face, her optics somber.

"He's awake," she says, her voice tight. She keeps it steady, though. "But we've got another problem. He's...he's not Optimus. Not anymore."

The look his gives her mix of disbelief and concern, but she wouldn't make a claim like that without some justification, some evidence. He glanced back to the ship, trying to parse exactly what she is implying from her word choice and mannerisms.

"What do you mean he isn't Optimus anymore? I was under the impression from your intel that he should have regained control of his faculties by now, and that the effect was temporary."

"It was temporary." Arcee feels -- guilty, somehow, even knowing this isn't her fault. She feels like she's misled them, failed them. She'd said she was going to bring Optimus back, but all she's managed is...this. "But it was only covering up a bigger problem. He doesn't have the Matrix anymore, Magnus. He's just...Orion Pax. And Megatron's been feeding him lies."

"WHAT?"

He doesn't even try to hide his incredulity, looking down with a clear expression of shock. Orion Pax? Megatron? He kept opening his mouth to say something and stopping, mind struggling to settle on just one question, trying to prioritize the information. He shakes his head, eyes closed, as if that would help the pieces settle into place.

"What happened to the Matrix?"

Arcee winces a little. So much for remaining cool and level-headed. But she can understand how he feels. It's...a lot to take in.

"I don't know," she sighs, shaking her head. "I mean, I have a few ideas -- I wanted to ask, but the conversation was already...strained as it was. My best guess is that Megatron took it, and if he did, he probably still has it. But the fact remains that he's not Optimus Prime anymore. He's Orion Pax, and right now, he believes that...that Optimus was some kind of vicious warmonger who just lost sight of the cause. That Megatron's been in the right all these years -- that he's the one who hasn't wavered from his principles. I don't know, Magnus. This -- this isn't what I expected to find."

He scowled, his gaze wandering back to the ship, thinking back to when he knew Orion before the war. Somehow that at all seemed so irrelevant compared to the what came later. Back then he and Orion had not been much more than acquaintances, certainly not close friends.
"If Megatron got to Orion first, I see no reason why Orion would doubt him. The two were always close, and Megatron is more than practiced in the art of deception."

He looked down on Arcee, expression resolute, though it was clear to someone who knew him well that he was having some doubt about their success at this point.

"I would recommend retrieving the Matrix be made our top priority. The Decepticons are already pushing our forces, who knows what Megatron could accomplish with something that powerful. With your permission, I would like to have a word with Orion, we need more information and at the moment he knows the most about Megatron's activity." It may have been a request, but the forceful tone made it clear he was prepared to argue if she ordered otherwise.

Arcee can see the doubt -- and she can hear the determination in his voice, too. Neither of those is all that encouraging to her right now. With a heavy sigh, she holds up a hand, shaking her head.

"Listen, I agree that we need to make finding the Matrix a priority, and I do think that Orion has more information for us. But I think we need to hold off for just a little while." She rubs a hand over her face, cycling out air through her vents. "He's injured, he's exhausted, and he's...having an incredibly difficult time with all of this. He trusts Megatron completely, and Megatron's made us out to be the bad guys. I don't think barging in there and interrogating him is going to do a whole lot for that impression. We need to go about this carefully, or Orion's going to turn back to Megatron without looking back."

"I wasn't suggesting a full interrogation at this point in time. Orion is a librarian and archivist, it isn't as if he was trained to withhold information."

Ultra Magnus was a little disgruntled that she assumed he would leap to drastic measures so quickly.

"We can gain a lot of information from a simple conversation. It would be useful to discover the extent of his memory loss. I frequently dealt with Orion before the war, theoretically he should recognize me." He gave an awkward cough, dropping eye contact for a moment.

"I know I am not the most...personable bot, but at least Orion would have another familiar face around aside from Megatron. I would of course wait until Orion is in a better state, but I truly feel time may be a serious concern without knowledge of the Decepticon's plans."

Arcee considers telling Ultra Magnus that even polite conversation with him can at times feel like an interrogation, but she decides against it. Not the place or the time. She still looks doubtful, mouth pressed into a thin line, and she shakes her head.

"I get what you're saying, and I agree -- to a point. But Orion is recovering from what I think we can safely categorize as a very traumatic experience, and he isn't feeling too charitable towards us right now. There's a lot I want to ask him too, but...we have to go about this carefully."

Her optics are sharp, though, alight with possibility. "Orion isn't our only resource, either. The AI platform that helped us find him in the first place...they were aware of at least one other Cybertronian on the planet. Legion says they're here to protect humanity -- well, if Megatron's on this planet, he's not just a threat to us. There's a common goal, here. Legion might have useful information for us."

"Very well, if you believe that is the best course of action."

Ultra Magnus hadn't expected her to shut down his plan so immediately,, his shoulders hunched defensively but otherwise managing to keep his emotions in check. He was certainly not going to question her authority in this situation, it wasn't that he doubted her ability to lead but there were times when it was difficult to remember that in this situation she wasn't his subordinate.

"Do you believe engaging with the local lifeforms is prudent, given that the Decepticons have apparently already established a presence on this planet? The protocols for dealing with organic life exist for a reason, we should be cautious about revealing ourselves too quickly before gaining a better understanding of their culture."

"I do," Arcee says, quietly but firmly. She feels strange putting her foot down with Ultra Magnus of all people, but she can't afford to let her command go soft now. "We will talk to Orion -- but let's give him a breather. He's been through a lot, and he doesn't exactly trust us right now. And Legion's not local. They're a compound AI from another part of the galaxy -- and they might make a good liaison if contact with the locals ever does become a necessity. And believe me, I'd prefer to keep things quiet if we can, but..."

Arcee sighs, running a hand over her helm. "It's not as if humankind hasn't been exposed to other races before. I've been doing some research. The Alternian Empire has tried to invade this planet twice. They've got a compound AI from the other end of the galaxy on their side. Maybe they're resilient or just lucky, but either way, we might not be able to keep our cover for long. Eventually, we might have to make contact with their authorities, at least."

Ultra Magnus simply nodded in agreement about dealing with Orion, not willing to risk pushing Arcee's command again. The information about Legion was not exactly what he had expected, and his reaction was clear that he was interested, his posture straightening and more direct."

"That certainly would influence are approach on this planet, especially if, as it appears, we will be staying here longer than expected. If you would like, I would be happy to conduct further research on Earth's interplanetary relations and develop a plan should we find ourselves in a situation where revealing our presence would be beneficial." He did his best to present this as more of a suggestion, but it was clear to see he was eager to take responsibility for this task. Intergalactic diplomacy was something he was comfortable with, and with everything going on right now it would be nice to work on something where he would have some order and control.

Honestly, the suggestion is a relief to Arcee. She can do diplomacy, but the notion of dealing with those kinds of politics extensively honestly sounds like a headache right now. And if Ultra Magnus has something like that to keep him busy, hopefully he won't dwell on Orion too much.

"I'm putting you in charge of intergalactic relations for this mission, then," Arcee says with a nod. She has no doubt he'll be thorough, at least. "Get in contact with Legion -- tell them I sent you. They've been pretty cooperative thus far. If you tell them Megatron's on this planet, that he poses a serious risk to everyone here, not just us...I don't think it'll be difficult to convince them to work with us."

She hesitates, something else obviously hovering on the edge of her vocalizer. "There's...something else, too."

Magnus nodded as Arcee gave the order to contact Legion, glad she was willing to delegate that task to him. Her hesitation however was not exactly reassuring, and his optics narrowed when she spoke again.

"And that would be what exactly?"

This conversation is not going nearly the way she'd thought it would. Actually, it's just mostly been uncomfortable. There's an uneasiness in the way she shifts her weight, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Orion said...the Matrix had been destroyed. At least, that's what he's been led to believe -- by Megatron, no doubt. But -- I don't believe it, Magnus. I just don't think Megatron would go to all the trouble of taking the Matrix only to blow it to pieces."

Magnus was silent for a few moments, thinking over what she said.

"You're right. I also don't believe even Megatron would have the power needed to destroy it. But if it is true, we will have more pressing issues than Orion's amnesia to contend with."

"Yeah -- like what Megatron intends to do with it." Arcee's face darkens slightly, her optics dimming. She looks grim. This feels grim. "From the sound of it, he went to some pretty serious lengths to get his hands on the Matrix -- and then he didn't just kill Orion right away. Instead, he lied to him. But why? And what's his endgame here? He must want the Matrix's power for something."

"It may be related to the energy course Optimus went to investigate. We still don't have any information regarding the energy flux in that area." This was only speculation of course, but it was the best he could offer her now. They simply had no more information.

Arcee shakes her head slowly, venting out a sigh. "Ultra Magnus, I'm about to disclose some...classified information, so I'm trusting your discretion." If there's anything she can trust Magnus with, it's this. The need to keep this under wraps is becoming increasingly irrelevant at this point. "Optimus didn't leave just to investigate an energy flux. He was going to find Unicron. He was worried Megatron might try to use Unicron's power to gain an upper hand in the war. Optimus wanted to put an end to that before it could even happen."

"Unicron?! Arcee that's-" he was going to say absurd but at this point it was pretty clear she was not making this stuff up. That was the absolute last thing the Autobots needed right now, if the real and actual Unicron was making his way towards Cybertron.

"That....would certainly explain why Megatron would desire the Matrix. I doubt there's another artifact powerful enough to allow one to compete with Unicron." It still didn't explain why Orion was alive.

"That's one possibility," Arcee admits, running a hand over her helm. She looks tired, a little defeated. It's hard to view this in a positive light. "But there has to be a reason Megatron hasn't tried to offline Orion yet. He must need him for something. And if it's not the Matrix...whatever it is, it's not looking good for us."

She looks up at Ultra Magnus, her optics dim but hard-edged, set with determination. "Magnus, we have to get the Matrix back. I don't know how many Decepticons are on Earth, but if Megatron's among them, we're already outnumbered. I don't want to pull any troops away from the front lines, but we need reinforcements. This mission just got a lot bigger. As of right now, I'm appointing you chief military advisor for this operation. We need to start formulating a plan, and fast. Can I count on you?"

"Of course, as always." He gave a quick salute, along with the nearest he could muster to a reassuring smile. He wanted to say they'd been through worse, but there was no hiding the fact that stopping Megatron here was going to be a challenge.

"I'll contact Legion, and send a message out to the troops, see if we can't find at least a few more soldiers. If there's nothing else you need now, I'll complete this inventory and begin on that immediately."

Arcee nods, looking a little relieved, although she tries not to let it show too much. The truth is that as long as she knows Ultra Magnus has her back on this a hundred percent, she feels better about everything. Not a whole lot, but...it counts for something.

"That's all, then. Dismissed." She pauses, then glances back at him with just the faintest smile. "Thank you, Ultra Magnus."

If talking to Orion had been difficult, Arcee is dreading telling Rodimus about this, to tell the truth. She'd just barely held it together in there, but she has a feeling Rodimus isn't going to take things quite as well. And if she's totally honest with herself, she doesn't think she's going to have a hard time identifying with how Rodimus feels, for once.

They've been using a little cave near where they'd parked the Rod Pod for now, since they had to lock Orion in the ship when they'd brought him back from the fight. Arcee finds Rodimus inside, her optics alight with heavy concern. Better ease into this one, she thinks. "Hey," she says quietly, her gaze falling to his shoulder. She'd done her best with the first aid kit, but it still looks pretty nasty. "How's the shoulder?"

"Fine." Rodimus doesn't even look in Arcee's direction, his face expressionless. "How is he?"

Edited (sp) 2014-05-06 20:23 (UTC)

Not off to a great start. Arcee had been hoping to break it to him gently, but then again, maybe that was the wrong approach to begin with. She doesn't need to treat Rodimus with kid gloves, she reminds herself. He's an Autobot too. If Ultra Magnus can take it -- if she can -- so can Rodimus.

"He's..." Arcee's shoulders go slightly slack, and she shakes her head. "He's not Optimus. Not anymore. The mind control is gone, but it was just...covering up a bigger problem. He doesn't have the Matrix. Now he's just -- Orion Pax. And it looks like Megatron got to him before we did."

There's a long moment where Rodimus doesn't know WHAT to think about what Arcee has just told him. It's a lot to process, and after everything they've been through...everything they've done...to still not have what they've come all this way for...he closes his optics. This was't how things were supposed to have gone. They were supposed to come to earth, get Optimus Prime, return to the front lines, leader in tow. End of story. Back to shooting Decepticons for control of strategic fuel transport locations by the end of the week. Not...not this. Whatever this is.

Rodimus grits his teeth, anger welling in his spark.

"Megatron." he spits. He finally looks at Arcee, his expression hard. She looks tired. "It's never gonna end, is it Arcee? Not as long as that monster's spark still burns."

Arcee is tired -- tired and angry and hurt. What Megatron's done to Optimus -- to Orion -- it feels personal. To deceive Orion, who knows nothing of this war, to play on his outdated loyalties and old world idealism...it sickens Arcee. She just shakes her head slowly, her optics hard and blazing.

"No. It won't." That's one thing she's certain of, now more than ever. Air hisses slowly out of her vents in a long sigh. "The mission's changed, Rodimus. Getting the Matrix back is top priority. But Megatron...Megatron needs to be stopped, whether or not we have a Prime on our side." Her optics flash. She sounds as determined as Rodimus has ever heard her, her voice quiet but rich and crackling with tempered fury.

A slight smile comes to the corner of Rodimus' mouth. There's a tone in Arcee's voice that he doesn't hear often; a tone that convinces him that when push comes to shove Arcee's going to do what needs to be done. They may have lost a lot today (maybe too much), but when the time came...there'd be hell to pay.

Maybe it's the exhaustion, or having to fight Optimus Prime nearly to death together, or the lingering pain, or the sick feeling in his fuel pump that he just couldn't shake since she'd broken the news, but Rodimus is really starting to feel something resembling respect for Arcee. There are worse bots who could've been in command in this situation, he supposed.

Something then occurred to him.

"You know, Arcee..." he says, his optics suddenly bright. "Megatron may have gotten to Op-" there's an awkward moment. "...Orion first....but he have may have backed himself into a corner by doing so..."

Tired as she is, even Arcee notices the shift in Rodimus's tone when he addresses her. There's something conspiratorial, bordering on cooperative, in his voice that draws her attention at least as much as what he's saying. She looks at him, her optics lighting up, and for once she looks keenly interested in what he has to say.

"How so?"

Rodimus' smile broadens as he sits up straighter; he winces briefly in pain but his optics are bright in the dim light.

"Think about it...whatever lies Megatron's fed Orion...they're just that....lies. How long can he possibly pull the wool over his eyes? Megatron's true colours will show...and....I mean, actions speak louder than words right?"

Rodimus is, of course, working on convincing himself of this fact even as he says it, pushing aside lingering doubts, logical fallacies. That they didn't know where Megatron was, what type or number of forces he had, what he was telling Orion or for how long; beside the point.

"We can talk Orion's audials off trying to convince him that Megatron's changed...or we can have Megatron do the convincing himself."

He pauses meaningfully, trying to gauge Arcee's reaction. He's aware that he's not suggesting a tactic of caution, or methodological planning. He thinks of Ultra Magnus and what he would say, but that's....a bridge to cross later.

They're in bad shape. Yes. Very yes. Too bad to do anything meaningful in the near future, but they aren't going to get anywhere wringing their hands worrying about Optimus' sensibilities or how to gently explain to Orion Pax that a few thousands years can turn a bot with a giant cannon for an arm into a war-mongering lunatic with ease.

His expression grew more serious again. "...even if we have to lure his ugly side out ourselves."

Edited 2014-05-07 05:55 (UTC)

That actually makes Arcee smile faintly. It's a grim smile, set with determination, but having Rodimus's cooperation is a novelty. If he's really with her on this, that's one less front she needs to be fighting on. She just hopes she'll keep proving herself worthy of his -- and Ultra Magnus's -- respect.

"It's not a bad idea," she says thoughtfully, but she sighs air out through her vents, not looking too convinced. "But a really risky one, at this point. We don't know how many Decepticons are on this planet, and we're...in a bad way right now. But even beyond that..." Her optics dim, looking tired and...sad.

"Orion doesn't trust us. The only one he trusts is Megatron, and Megatron's put some time painting him a picture of the war that puts us in a very ugly light. A demonstration of Megatron's wanton cruelty might change Orion's mind, but Rodimus...if he thinks even for a second that we're manipulating him, that's it. We'll lose him forever." She looks back at Rodimus, her face set, turning the possibilities over in her mind. "We have a lot to lose, now more than ever. Right now, Orion doesn't even want to be Optimus Prime. He thinks the Matrix was controlling him, making him do unspeakable things...we have to tread carefully with him. I don't know what Megatron wants him for, but there has to be a reason he's kept Orion alive. And that we might be able to use to our advantage."

Rodimus sighs...not really in disappointment so much as resignation. Arcee's right...they need to take things one step at a time. They need to regroup; plan. They're hurt, and blind both. Unfortunately, sitting and waiting aren't really actions that sit well with Rodimus, and the idea that they are grounded until further notice makes Rodimus' spark burn. He looks down abjectly at his hands.

"What're we going to do?" He asks, not really expecting an answer. He's trying to move his hands in unison; the left isn't really working...he can move it a bit, but it's imprecise, and the whole arm is almost without feeling. Arcee did her best but...without a real medic, team Autobot isn't going to be operating at the top of their game for a while. And Prime...

"Hey, listen...." he pauses, avoiding looking in Arcee's direction. "I'm sorry. About the fight I mean. I just...well..." He trails off, not really sure what to say. "I screwed up."

Edited 2014-05-09 02:38 (UTC)

Arcee looks at him in surprise, blinking. She's never held out for an apology for Rodimus; she'd always figured that would be a long time coming, if at all. But he...looks genuinely sorry. For once, he's not thinking about his reckless heroics. He's thinking about the team. And for all that Arcee's been frustrated with him lately, she knows that counts for something. Maybe they're not as bad off as she thought.

"Hey," she says quietly, putting a hand on his good shoulder. "It got crazy out there. Nothing about that fight went according to plan, and you...you put the mission first. You were willing to put your spark on the line to get the job done. And I don't think I could ask much more than that from an Autobot."

She smiles then. It's grim and it's grave, but she smiles all the same, giving his shoulder a gentle little shake. "But I can't afford to lose even a single soldier right now, so consider this a standing order to not die before this mission's through. I need you to help me bring Optimus back to the fight, Rodimus."

Rodimus can't help but smile. "No promises, but...I've been told I'm pretty tough to kill."

It wasn't something he was about to openly admit, but Arcee's words mean a lot to Rodimus. He'd spent more time than not arguing with, butting heads with, and getting lectured by (perhaps justifiably so) his superior officers in recent years...it's nice to have some mutual respect with his commander. Arcee's a good soldier, probably a GREAT soldier and her confidence in him makes him feel...better. Their situation isn't good but it's the little moments that might get them through this.

His next question comes hesitantly...he's got no idea what Arcee's going to say, but it's importance is pressing on his mind, and he figures there's no better time than the present.

"...can I talk to him?"

Arcee's not sure Rodimus has ever actually asked her permission for anything -- at least not like this, sincere and hesitant, no trace of flippant sarcasm in his voice. She looks at him, cycling air through her vents in a heavy sigh. For once, she doesn't want to say no to Rodimus.

"Give it some time," she says gently. It's not a no. "You can talk to him, Rodimus -- and I think you should -- but maybe...give it a day or two. He's...been through a lot. He's badly injured, and he's struggling right now. He doesn't know who we are, and he doesn't think he can trust us. I don't think overwhelming him is going to help with that. So just...focus on resting up for now. Besides, I need you in top condition as soon as possible, all right?"

She gives his shoulder a slight squeeze before letting go, and despite how heavy, how grim things have started to look for the Autobots, this conversation at least has lifted her spark a little. A day she and Rodimus can agree on anything has to count for something.

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[ this loss isn't good enough for sorrow or inspiration ]

ULTRA MAGNUS

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RODIMUS

Re: RODIMUS

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