(no subject)

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Who: The newly arrived Eridan Ampora, Karkat Vantas, and probably some CONDOR NPCs.
Where: a TOP SECRET CONDOR HOLDING FACILITY
When: Probably now
What: CONDOR needs confirmation that Eridan isn't some kind of spy.
Warnings: awful troll teens, but even worse than usual because one of them is Eridan

Karkat is really, really done with being furtively transported to top secret CONDOR holding facilities to identify other trolls. He kind of has to wonder – how many Alternians end up in CONDOR's grasp who don't mention him by name, who he never hears about?

He's been told this one claims to be associated with Feferi, so he assumes some sub-revolutionary or other – he's kind of surprised when it turns out to be someone he recognises.

"Fuck," he says to the CONDOR agent who's ushered him into the room where the security feed shows Eridan sitting in his cell. He drags his hands down his face. "Yeah, it's okay, I know him, pretty fucking sure he's not a spy."

"Only pretty sure?" says the agent, looking dubiously at Eridan. "Isn't he one of the ruling class?"

"Yeah, so he'd make piss awful spy. Let me talk to him, okay?"

A few minutes later he's stepping into the cell, looking kind of perplexed.

"What the hell, dude," he says in Alternian – it's not rusty, but a year and a half of speaking almost exclusively English has given him a weird sort of accent. "Feferi sent you here? Why?"

Comments

[speakerofthevvastwweh]

Eridan Ampora does not look like he's been having a good day. His scarf is torn, his cape is in tatters, his hair is a singed mess, and he's got ugly violet bruises all over his face. And - worst of all - his rifle is nowhere in sight.
Eridan is trying (and failing) to comb his hair back into shape, but he drops it in surprise when he sees Karkat walk in. "Kar! Thank the Speaker - you're the first friendly face I'vve seen all day. These assholes wwouldn't knoww how to treat royalty if it crash-landed on their front lawwnring, wwhich it did." Eridan blinks, his ears finally catching up to his mouth. "Wwhat havven't you heard the newws?" He smirks, all dissatisfaction washed away in a wave of self-satisfied poise. "You're lookin at the first royally appointed an democratically approvved ambassadorphaner a the Royal Republic a Alternia to the human planet a Earth."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Karkat gives him a skeptical squint. "Seriously? Out of every troll she could possibly have sent here to represent her, what, best interests for Earth she picked you?"

[speakerofthevvastwweh]

Eridan shrugs, broadly, while still grinning. "But a course! As Fef's closest an most royal confidant, I wwas a natural choice to represent an lead the bedraggled band a outcasts misfits an lowwbloods wwho havve wwashed up on this planet's metaphorical shore."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

He holds his hands up, fingers spread. "Wait, wait. You're telling me you're supposed to be in charge of every Alternian on Earth? Come on, dude–"

[speakerofthevvastwweh]

Eridan shrugs. "I'll be advvocatin for your interests before Earth's govvernin body wwith the full wweight a the elected-empress-to-be behind me - that's a natural position a leadership if I'vve evver seen one."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Karkat grimaces a little. "I can advocate for my interests here fine, thanks," he says, rolling his eyes. "Look, you're definitely here on weird grubfisted sea troll revolution business, right? You're not trying to pull some kind of ill-conceived double agent bullshit?" He just needs to check, okay.

Cross-canon dramatic irony? Check.

[speakerofthevvastwweh]

Eridan almost looks insulted. "Wwhat, an betray Fef? I thought you kneww me better than that, Kar. There's absolutely no set a circumstances under wwhich I wwould evver evven consider doin something that wwould hurt her."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes further, Karkat waves a hand dismissively and says, "Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought, just have to make sure – these guys are pretty suspicious about highbloods, you know, what with the multiple invasions."

[speakerofthevvastwweh]

"Then those assholes should stop spewwin prejudice all ovver the place! Just because wwe seadwwellers are the genetic apex a intelligent life in the univverse doesn't mean wwe all wwant to crush evvery civvilisation wwe encounter under our perfectly-evvolved feet." Eridan pauses, playing back what he just said in his mind, then raises a placating hand. "Okay wwell wwe're not all goin to."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

He doesn't resist the urge this time. He just rolls his eyes again, and jabs an accusatory finger at Eridan. "This is exactly why people don't like you guys, I am just saying."

[speakerofthevvastwweh]

Eridan raises an eyebrow. "I thought you wwere the sort a troll wwhat appreciates honesty - I'm just tellin it howw it is." He pauses, glances around. "So are you gonna bust me outta this place or wwhat."

[10thingsihateaboutme]

Karkat sighs. "Yeah, yeah. They'll let you out if I tell them you're okay." He wrinkles his nose slightly. "Did Feferi fix for you to have anywhere to live or anything?"