capitalh | SUPER BARBECUE SUPER BARBECUE SUPER BARBECUE [open as heck]

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SUPER BARBECUE SUPER BARBECUE SUPER BARBECUE [open as heck]

Who: SUPER HEROES!!!!!
Where: Ernest E. Debs Regional Park!
When: Sunday!
What: SUPER BARBECUE
Warnings: Superheroes...

It's a pleasant evening at Ernest E. Debs Regional Park, just a couple miles from downtown LA, which can be seen through the haze. Late March means spring is just arriving in LA and the trees are just starting to bud. Unfortunately, the grass is still kind of dead and dry.

The barbecue and picnic area isn't too busy, though the park does have the usual assortment of joggers, dog walkers, and cyclists. There are some balloons tied to picnic tables, and strung between two trees is a very homemade "SUPER BBQ" banner, courtesy of Hulkling and Starbreaker. There's still glitter glue on Milly's apartment floor. There's another posterboard with the rules written on it in big bold sharpie letters nearby, just in case anyone forgets:

Don't be a jerk!!!
Keep your weapons holstered please.
Do not trash the park!
ABSOLUTELY NO FIGHTING
Anyone caught fighting will be asked to leave!
Really don't be a jerk!

[OKAY GUYS!!! mingle! have fun! maybe some THINGS WILL HAPPEN, whoooo knows!]

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Sollux squats so he can ruffle the dog's ears. He's kind of glad you can't see his face right now because his expression would be a little bit telling.

"Oh my god, it's like you guys have never gathered information in your entire life. It's a fucking superhero party - there are tons of people here who know all kinds of stuff. Whatever kind of shit you've been scouting for, maybe you could learn something."

"The troll does have a point," Starscream says reluctantly to no one in particular. He still can't stop talking about Sollux as if he isn't even present. "Its likely that the Autobots may be around here for similar reasons. We need to remain vigilant."

All very serious points from someone who doesn't actually give two lugnuts about doing actual work right now.

"Well, I'd hope so," Knock Out says in exasperation. "I mean, otherwise, what would be the point?"

It's clear that he considers gathering information from the local natives about as useful for reconnaissance as sitting around watching a pair of dogs sniff each others' asses. Mostly he's bitter. With his recent revelation that he can no longer harm any humans without some serious repercussion, the idea of spending the afternoon surrounded by skinjobs only sours him further. He glances around haughtily, his expression darkens.

"Starscream, you ran into one of the Autobots' avatars, didn't you? What did it look like?"

Starscream looks taken aback. "What did it... I don't know, human? Female???" He honestly has no idea how to answer that question. "What am I supposed to be some sort of expert on identifying different humans? What does it matter anyway, we can just scan for their avatars."

On the grass, with the dog, Sollux just cracks up laughing at Starscream's reaction.

"Well, you're the only one who's seen her," Knock Out snaps at Starscream, huffing, and then he looks down at Sollux, lip curling. None of this is doing anything for his foul mood. "Will you shut up?"

Sollux doesn't shut up.

"You're right dude, you've been organic for like a half hour and I can't even remember what you look like anymore. Is it grey? Purple? Maybe sort of blue? Do you have legs? You have legs, right?"

Edited 2014-06-11 00:40 (UTC)

"You stay out of this!" Starscream snaps before turning back to Knock Out. "What do you expect me to say!? It had black hair? All humans look the same!" he hisses, taking his angry embarrassment from Sollux's reaction out on Knock Out.

Why not keep talking? He's going to keep talking.

"Who knows man, I mean you have wings and stuff so maybe you don't need legs. I just don't understand you car robots. I don't understand your ways."

Breakdown has wandered over onto the grass too, trying to figure out how to get the dog's attention to play with it too. Who knew a dog needed something that had an actual scent, huh?

"It's not that hard," comes his mumbled addition. "You just gotta look a little closer at humans."

Starscream looks like he sincerely would like to punch Sollux right now. He shifts his glare to Breakdown though. "Oh? Show me then. Go on. Describe Knock Out's avatar."

Sollux just grins.

Then he winks at Breakdown.

Well, there's a dumb challenge. Breakdown doesn't even have to look over, just keeps his attempt at not smirking contained to Sollux's general direction.

"Easy. He's got darker skin than yours does. Dark eyes, real short hair, nose is a little wider at the bottom. And he's dressed pretty nice."

Clearly mollified, Knock Out gives Starscream an unbearably smug look, patting Breakdown on the arm. "See?" he says to Starscream, sneering. "It's not that hard. You just have to use your senses."

If looks could kill, Knock Out would be on his way to the well-of-all-sparks right about now.

"I-- well he had more time to think about it, plus a point of reference to compare to!" He pauses a beat. "And I still fail to see how this is a necessary skill to have anyway!"

"Dude, you're on a planet covered in humans," he says. Now he's just kind of incredulous. "Look, here's a pro tip: when a human asks you about another humans, don't insert things like 'human hair' or like...'human skin' when describing them. I know it's super tempting but people might just start thinking you're an alien."

Starscream's lip curls. "What I mean is that I do not see myself ever being in a situation where a matter of life or death hinges on me being able to describe the appearance of some random human being to another person. I can still tell them apart just fine--" suddenly he realizes how ridiculous this entire fucking conversation is and just lets out an exasperated growl and palms a hand to his forehead.

"Okay, well," Sollux says, after a moment. "You should probably stop making faces like that, though. No actual human face does that."

Megatron arrives.

From what information he has gleaned about this gathering, it should not be tremendously out of place for an attendee to simply materialise there, so why beat around the bush? One second there is nobody there, and then quite suddenly there is a huge dude with a floor length purple cape hanging off his massive shoulders. Where everybody else decided to set their avatars to 'dressed like normal people', Megatron has gone the whole hog in his effort to 'blend in'. There is spandex. There is a mask/helmet combo. There's a lot of purple. The spikes on his shoulders are, true to form, taller than his head. He looks more like a really intense supervillain than anything else, but this is a nuance he has apparently failed to pick up on.

He surveys his assembled warriors with a look of great distaste. He cannot believe you people.

Megatron's sudden appearance is startling, to say the least, and it takes Starscream a moment to recognize who he is.

Once he does though, the burst of laughter he lets out is loud, obnoxious, and uncharacteristically non-menacing.

"I dunno what you're laughing about dude," Sollux says, after taking a moment to adjust. "I'm pretty sure he just won. Everybody else fails."

Starscream does not have any response to that, he is far too busy trying to keep his laughter under control, dulling it down to a rude snickering.

Gemini is definitely continuing to win himself Decepticon brownie points here. Megatron is not terrifically impressed by his robe and wizard hat, but, like, at least he tried, so he gets an approving glance. Presumably he actually had to source his ridiculous getup from somewhere, unlike the rest of these failures who could have programmed their avatars with whatever they wanted.

Megatron folds his gloved arms.

"I was informed," he intones, "that this was a gathering for humans who identify themselves by their extravagant costumes." He pointedly looks around the assemblage of humans and human shaped individuals, and then slowly turns back to the Decepticons. "It seems I was correct. I fail to see what is any more inappropriate about my own avatar than," his nose wrinkles a little in disapproval, "any of yours."

Starscream still has no reply to that. The getup isn't exactly un-Megatron like, but seeing such a style on a human frame is ridiculous, and associating such ridiculousness with the fearless leader that he's been at the heels of for thousands of years now is just way too much for him to handle right now.

He at least has the grace to look sort of ashamed of himself upon being chastised and turns away to try and get his hysterics under control.

"Personally, I'm not much for all...that," Knock Out says, choosing his words carefully as he looks over Megatron's avatar. He's doing a considerably better job than Starscream at hiding his amusement, but then, he's not nearly as interested in pissing off Megatron. "But I must say, Lord Megatron, your flair for human costuming is...unparalleled." He pauses, considering. "I like the spikes."

Edited 2014-06-15 22:37 (UTC)

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buffedthat - 2014-06-15 22:47 (UTC) - Expand

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starscheme - 2014-06-22 03:34 (UTC) - Expand

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