gay robot problems

[thanksoptimus]

Who: Orion Pax and Starscream, and later Megatron.
Where: The space boat.
When: While Megatron is out talking to Baelhaet.
What: Orion is getting restless and Starscream is getting annoyed.
Warnings: Robots.

Normally, Orion would be extremely hesitant to wander the ship without explicit permission. After all, he's been the one locking himself in his room lately, more than anybody else. But with Megatron off on other business...he feels like this may be an opportunity to speak of his issues covertly.

With Megatron out, he suspects that Commander Starscream must still be in. He isn't in any of the obvious places, and so he finds himself approaching some of the more obscure storage locations.

He considers calling, but the idea is nebulously off putting. So, instead he just moves in closer, listening for sounds of other robotic life.

Comments

[thanksoptimus]

This doesn't seem like an ideal time to talk about this kind of thing at all. And, with a sinking feeling in his spark, he realizes that it's almost certain that Megatron doesn't care about the answer as much as Orion does anymore. There's been too much time in between, that much is obvious.

"There...might be," he starts, and that is probably the first warning that these may not be the exact probing questions Megatron is expecting. "It's been...a very long time, from your perspective. I'm sure that you have moved on, but...for me, it has only been a matter of days..."

He trails off, and then falls silent, choosing his words carefully.

"I don't know who I am to you, now."

[bigfuckinggun]

Megatron stares at him in shock. He has no answer prepared for this. Indeed, he's been avoiding spending too much time around Orion Pax for this very reason. To be confronted with it directly...

Orion is right – this is the least ideal time he could possibly have asked – but it's hard to imagine there could have been an ideal time at all. It's with a similarly sinking feeling that Megatron realises the best he can do, for once, may be to tell Orion the truth.

He casts a quick scan up and down the corridor – this is not a conversation he wants overheard. When he looks back at Orion, his expression is solemn; distant.

"Neither do I."

[thanksoptimus]

It's a better answer than it could have been. At least he can be sure that, with Megatron showing uncertainty, it's very unlikely that he is being dishonest. If Megatron is still anything like he was on Cybertron, that wasn't a weakness in conviction he would make up.

"That's understandable, to say the least," he says, feeling himself becoming more reserved in response to his own emotional stress, not wanting to allow the chance of saying something ridiculous. "More importantly, I think, is the question of whether that is something you...still have any desire of finding out."

He glances up at him, solemnly.

"You were...are...one of my dearest friends. And I only wish to make things right."

[bigfuckinggun]

This is just getting progressively worse – it's everything Megatron has been doing his level best to avoid having to deal with ever since Orion stepped on board his ship.

Even as he feels Orion's words like a great, dull weight pulling on his spark, in the back of his mind he's thinking what a grand opportunity it could be, to secure his greatest enemy's unwitting devotion, to use that devotion to obliterate the morale of those who will inevitably rise to take Optimus Prime's place...

But he fears that would be a lie that even he could not maintain.

Megatron is rarely the first to break eye contact with anyone, but he looks away now.

"These are difficult times, Orion – now more than ever. Surely you understand it is hardly appropriate – constructive – to prioritise such concerns..."

[thanksoptimus]

It's a reasonably gentle rejection if that's what it is - and honestly, he thinks it would be self centered and over-optimistic to think of it more positively. At worst it is a quiet handwaving to darker emotions, and at his center he just hopes that that is not the case.

But, if it's a parting, at least it seems that it can be on peaceful terms. To wake one day and to have lost so much so quickly...the pain of his situation finally begins to sink into his frame. They'd had so many ideas, so many hopes - and now all he can see is the ruins of failure already millenia behind him.

At times he's lamented his own reserved demeanor - he recalls being jealous of how Megatronus had expressed himself, always so vivid and unashamed. But right now he's relieved that things slip easily beneath the surface, though the hurt does show on his face, it does not leave these feelings of despair so exposed.

"Of course," he says, glancing downward. "I never meant to make it a priority."

[bigfuckinggun]

Although Orion Pax has always been restrained, he was less so than he would be as Optimus Prime; and although much time has passed, Megatron knows him well enough to see what reaction does make it to the surface for what it really means.

He has had a very, very long time to steel himself against being emotionally affected by anything Optimus says or does. But the disapproval of the Prime who was given what should have rightfully been his, who was his opposite number in all matters, was rather easier to scorn than this, the earnest sadness of someone who trusts him and believes in him and whom – once – he deeply cared for.

It infuriates him.

"Of course not," he says, in a tone rather more clipped than usual. "And of course it is only to be expected that this should... concern you. But as the situation stands... it must not." It's almost an order.

[thanksoptimus]

It doesn't work that way, even Orion knows that much. The sentiment is clear though - regardless of what is going on inwardly, this isn't a topic to be broached now, or quite possibly ever.

It shouldn't be surprising that, after all this time, Megatron has no particular interest in working things out in a deeper sense, but it still comes as a shock to Orion's system. He suddenly feels extremely alone.

"I...understand," he says, trying to remain composed. "I won't concern myself with it again."

[bigfuckinggun]

For a fleeting moment Megatron feels compelled to suggest that perhaps contemplation could be spared for this subject once this is over – but of course when this is over Orion will have been used for the Forge and disposed of, his usefulness having come to an end; when this is over the power of the Matrix will be Megatron's, the Autobots eradicated, and he will be supreme ruler of all he surveys.

Even if Orion were to be spared his inevitable fate, he would never approve.

So Megatron just nods, curt – as if he, for once, is holding something back.

"If you will excuse me," he says, "I have other matters to attend to."

[thanksoptimus]

He doesn't stop him. He can't really think of any reason to - nor any reason that he'd have a right to. Megatron has made his opinion on the matter clear, and any persistence on the issue would be presumptuous and rude. He's done all that he can do. It's not in his hands anymore.

That doesn't make him feel better.

He can picture some imaginary outcome where things become alright somehow, but it doesn't feel like much more than a fantasy, and a foolish, immature one at that. Time has changed things, and there's no going back. He didn't know why he thought there might be.

So he lets Megatron walk away, following him with his optics until he's far enough away that some of the tension can finally leave his frame and he isn't afraid of being overheard. What does he do now? He isn't fully sure.

"Goodbye, old friend," he says softly, and that's it.