Lex Luthor (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
luthorcorpceo) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
capitalh2014-05-04 08:38 pm
luthorcorpceo) wrote in capitalh2014-05-04 08:38 pm
Entry tags:
You may be wondering why I called you all here...
Who: Lex Luthor, Miko Nakadai, and you???
Where: LuthorCorp HQ
When: Shortly before the Level 4 outbreak has been contained
What: Lex Luthor tries to communicate with the world; always a bad idea
Warnings: Rampant condescension, snarky sarcasm, and perhaps a bit of real science
Luthor put down the phone while suppressing a grimace. So far his efforts to contact Dr. Baelheit have been fruitless. A man less preoccupied with his own business might consider that the Level 4 outbreak going on may be distracting the head of Mintaka Industries, but as Luthor considered that the disappearance of a few freaks was no concern of his, it never occurred to him that it might be of concern to Baelheit.
There were other ways to gain the resources that he would need to develop the new device. He may as well start with the, ah, less messy approaches. He touched the surface of his immaculate glass desktop.
"Miss Hammersmith."
A casual observer would not have been able to locate the speaker from which the response came. "Yes, Mr. Luthor?"
"Contact the public relations department. I need one hundred press packets prepared; I am calling a conference Monday morning at 9AM. Contact the usual outlets."
He lifted his hand from the desk. There was no need to wait for Miss Hammersmith to reply; she had certainly started to execute his order the moment he had given it.
He now had a little over 48 hours to decide what to say and how to say it. However, a green light hidden in the glass started to flash, and he pressed the desktop again.
"Yes Dr. Tsao?"
"My progress report on Project Achilles is ready."
This was news for which he had been waiting for some time. "Come to the executive conference room to present it.".
Preparing for the press conference could wait a little while...
Where: LuthorCorp HQ
When: Shortly before the Level 4 outbreak has been contained
What: Lex Luthor tries to communicate with the world; always a bad idea
Warnings: Rampant condescension, snarky sarcasm, and perhaps a bit of real science
Luthor put down the phone while suppressing a grimace. So far his efforts to contact Dr. Baelheit have been fruitless. A man less preoccupied with his own business might consider that the Level 4 outbreak going on may be distracting the head of Mintaka Industries, but as Luthor considered that the disappearance of a few freaks was no concern of his, it never occurred to him that it might be of concern to Baelheit.
There were other ways to gain the resources that he would need to develop the new device. He may as well start with the, ah, less messy approaches. He touched the surface of his immaculate glass desktop.
"Miss Hammersmith."
A casual observer would not have been able to locate the speaker from which the response came. "Yes, Mr. Luthor?"
"Contact the public relations department. I need one hundred press packets prepared; I am calling a conference Monday morning at 9AM. Contact the usual outlets."
He lifted his hand from the desk. There was no need to wait for Miss Hammersmith to reply; she had certainly started to execute his order the moment he had given it.
He now had a little over 48 hours to decide what to say and how to say it. However, a green light hidden in the glass started to flash, and he pressed the desktop again.
"Yes Dr. Tsao?"
"My progress report on Project Achilles is ready."
This was news for which he had been waiting for some time. "Come to the executive conference room to present it.".
Preparing for the press conference could wait a little while...
The press conference begins...
His personal assistant, Miss Hammersmith, was waiting for him. “Mr. Luthor, about the conference...”
“Thank you for working overtime this weekend; I appreciate that you know how important this presentation is for the company.” Luthor strolled past her out to the stage, failing to notice the distraught look on her face.
Arriving at the lectern, he turned for the first time to the gathered press corps seated before him. That is, the vestige of a gathered press corps seated before him. He instantly dismissed the possibility that he is early; he has never been more than ten seconds early or late to an appointment since the sixth grade, and he was only seven years old then. Clearly, the press release had the right time, or nobody would have shown up.
Or has nobody shown up? The only person he can see in the seats is a young oriental woman in the first row. Surely, she is too young to be a reporter of any importance. Still, she appears to be eagerly awaiting the start of the conference. He has heard that these oriental kids are sharp; she must have sensed the importance of this discovery. The fact that nobody else is here is mute testimony of the sorry state of American education.
He glances at his watch (a mere formality), and clears his throat. “Welcome to LuthorCorp, and thank you for coming. As I am sure you know, I am Lex Luthor, the founder and CEO of LuthorCorp. The technical background of today’s announcement is in your press packets; I assume that you all have received them?” He had decided to address the young woman in the plural, in case anyone is sitting in the dark rows in the back. This lighting may be good theater, but under the circumstances it is annoying.
no subject
But apparently she had displayed 'journalistic integrity under duress' by actually doing her best to monitor her surroundings and take notes rather than just having a mental breakdown, and besides, recent events involving cyborgs and towers and a number of other things had most of the reporters occupied.
So here she is, with a notebook (an actual one, for notes, not a sketchpad this time), marginally more professional-looking clothes than usual, and a front row seat to a press conference run by Lex Luthor, because no way is she going to pass this up, recent enormous stress or not. The fact that nobody else is there strikes her as a little odd, but at least she has a better view this way.
When the famed CEO enters the room, she perks up, readying her pen. Then her alert expression moves toward one of confusion when he mentions press packets.
She raises her hand, clearing her throat. "Um, excuse me, Mr. Luthor? Actually I'm afraid I have... no idea what packets you're referring to."
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“Mr. Luthor, we have been trying to contact you for the past day. PR was not able to prepare the press packets because they did not know what you wanted put in them, and during the cyborg breakout outside communications were down, so they couldn’t reach any news outlets except for the LA Times. – Hammersmith”.
So much for the competence of his employees. That young woman in the front row may be in luck – there will be an opening in the Public Relations department this afternoon.
“I apologize; there has been a miscommunication, and the press packets are not yet ready. However, it will be a simple matter to fill you in on the background material.”
“In brief, our R&D division, LexLabs, has succeeded in implementing an invention I conceived late last year. The LuthorCube is an energy source capable of producing electrical power for an indefinite period without any fuel supply. In other words, it can supply unlimited amounts of free energy. The cube is a nanostructure device consisting of alternating layers of electrical conductors and piezoelectric crystals. The structure therefore constitutes a stack of dynamic capacitors that couple to vacuum fluctuations in the electromagnetic field via the Casimir effect. There is a resonant mechanical frequency associated with the device that is determined by the thickness of each layer, the stiffness of the piezoelectric crystals, and the mass density of the conducting layers. By tuning the resonant frequency to the frequency of the vacuum fluctuations, the system draws mechanical energy from the vacuum fluctuations, which is then converted to electrical energy by the piezoelectric effect. I trust that this explanation is clear so far?”
no subject
"Yeah, sorry, uh... would you mind repeating that, but. Slower. And with fewer syllables, and preferably less science."
Incredibly professional.
She just doesn't get it; neither does he
“Perhaps I should not have used the quantum electrodynamic picture of the device. Consider instead the quantum mechanics of the simple harmonic oscillator, the ‘spherical cow’ if you will”. He inwardly smiled at the old joke. “As I am sure you are aware, the energy content of a simple harmonic oscillator is proportional to the number of excitations plus one-half, so that even when there are no excitations, there is still some energy in the oscillator. This is what physicists mean by ‘zero point energy’, but what has long been a mainstay of science fiction has now been turned to reality: a device that feeds from the zero point energy of the universe.”
Surely she was able to follow that!
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"...Sorry, still kinda lost." She shifts uncomfortably in her seat; maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "If you could maybe just... say what the thing does, as simply as possible, that would be good."
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"No, actually I DON'T know that, I must've missed the quantum physics course in high school, sorry."
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“The LuthorCube is a battery that last forever, and it works by magic. Is that simple enough?”
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But... nah.
"Hmm... maybe, but if that is the case - Mr. Luthor, would you like to explain when, exactly, your corporation started using magic? I don't believe we have that on record at the moment." Her voice is so exaggeratedly sweet and earnest that there is basically no way not to parse it as sarcasm.
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"Asimov once wrote that any sufficiently advanced technology would be indistinguishable from magic."
But some things just need to be said anyway.
"I suppose that to the Times' horoscope editor, a light bulb works by magic."
not sure if this is a case of "low blow" or "it's worse than that"
It wasworse than he thought...
Today she probably would have said that it feels like being in a poorly written situation comedy.
“Little lady, what is your name?”
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Two security guards entered the poorly lit rear of the auditorium.
"Gentlemen, please escort Miss Nakadai to the front door. It appears that she arrived here by accident, and has not been able to find the exit."
He waited at the lectern while the guards came down the center aisle, approaching Miko.
no subject
"Are you kidding me?!" She leaps from her seat, darting away from the guards before spinning to face Luthor again. She point accusingly at him - "You asked for a reporter, you got one! And if you're not satisfied, maybe you shouldn't have held this thing right after a major disaster- HEY!"
One of the guards catches hold of her arm, starting to pull her toward the exit. She twists around to shout over her shoulder at Luthor. "Fine, I'm sure the Times will love to hear all about how the great Lex Luthor can't even put together a press conference without it going completely to shit!"
How to make lemonade out of lemons
On the other hand, did she realize how much he needed this press conference to succeed? It was one of the vital steps of his plan, and the only path to success was through this whelp.
Of course, one had to admire both her audacity and her tenacity. No, this is no situation comedy; it is more like listening to a sermon on persistence given by a teenager. A particularly spirited teenager. That spirit could serve her well in the rough-and-tumble world of journalism, and giving her a leg up at this stage of her career could leave him with a valuable ally at the Times in the years to come.
He held up a hand. “Miss Nakadai, I apologize if I confused you. I was merely offering to have you brought to a place of refreshment while I arranged to have a press packet prepared for you. Would it be agreeable to have an exclusive interview with the CEO of LuthorCorp over lunch in the executive lunchroom?”
The guard dropped his catch and waited for orders.
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She pulled away from the guard, crossing her arms. "...Sure, that'll work."
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He stepped down from the podium and gestured toward the lobby entrance. “Miss Nakadai, after you.”