Optimus can't make himself looks back. Part of this whole issue is that everything about it feels foolish and unnecessary by his own standards of personal conduct. He didn't make things about himself. He just didn't.
So much of this pain, though, and so much of this anger...it's all his, and he doesn't have a place for it anymore. Due to circumstances, he was never given the opportunity to cope as he would have, like he has to many times before.
"I...have barely been able to identify it. I have been so...so lost, and even trying to identify what has gone wrong has felt too daunting of a task."
He really hates this. He almost can't make himself do it. He wants to, for Ratchet, and out of some small hope for himself. But every word feels like a grinder to the plating.
"So many things that were so easy for him...for Orion...for myself, before all of this. I do not feel capable of them any longer. In ways I had not fully realized."
no subject
So much of this pain, though, and so much of this anger...it's all his, and he doesn't have a place for it anymore. Due to circumstances, he was never given the opportunity to cope as he would have, like he has to many times before.
"I...have barely been able to identify it. I have been so...so lost, and even trying to identify what has gone wrong has felt too daunting of a task."
He really hates this. He almost can't make himself do it. He wants to, for Ratchet, and out of some small hope for himself. But every word feels like a grinder to the plating.
"So many things that were so easy for him...for Orion...for myself, before all of this. I do not feel capable of them any longer. In ways I had not fully realized."