Everyone's favorite big green alien is currently crouched in front of a barbecue pit, swearing at it. It turns out it's a lot harder to get charcoal to catch on fire than the internet made it seem, and Teddy is really wishing he'd bought some lighter fluid, even though it's totally cheating. He was a cub scout, damn it. Why is this so hard?

Teddy stands up with a sigh, brushing his hands off on his pants.

"Is anyone here better at starting fires than me?"